church talk & vulnerability

I haven’t listened to a sermon in months. My younger self – from even just a few years ago – would be flabbergasted by this. I was in church for years. I loved church; I threw my whole self into it. The music, the scriptures, the sermons: all of it brought me so much comfort,

when rest is difficult

I am neurodivergent, disabled, and chronically ill. Based on the Myers-Briggs and Enneagram personality typing tools, I’m an INFJ and 9w1. I grew up in conservative white evangelical Christianity. And I want to take about rest today, as it has been necessary but hard lately. Those things may not seem very related or intertwined; but

Faith and Fear

“‘Faith over fear’ is a toxic half-truth.” Full post from KJ Ramsey: https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fkjramseywrites%2Fposts%2F189506376333669&show_text=true&width=500 “Faith over fear” seems to have become evangelicals’ mantra during the COVID-19 pandemic. Certainly, this phrase wasn’t new to pandemic times. I’ve heard it throughout my life. But I’ve heard and read it countless times over the last year and a half

A Poem for Holy Week

if the pain the grief the ache the loss the longing  associated with death  like on Friday and Saturday  feel far more present and real than the hope the joy the beauty  the goodness of life and resurrection  like on Sunday  you are not alone you are loved may you one day find love  grace

Ten Years

Being chronically ill impacts every area of life. It has touched my productivity levels and involvement in school, in jobs, in volunteer work, in churchgoing, in family gatherings, just to name a few things. There are a lot of feelings wrapped up in this day & this month for me. There were definitely times I

I Wasn’t Looking for a Side A Church

http://www.comingout4christians.net/side-a-side-b-primer.html explanation of Sides A & B if you’re unfamiliar with these terms  Side A: LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti-conversion therapy Side B: LGBTQIA+ non-affirming, anti-conversion therapy Side X: LGBTQIA+ non-affirming, pro-conversion therapy —————————————————————————————————————————————– I wasn’t looking for a Side A church. I’ve been in Side B and Side X environments my whole life. While many of the

Progress

I had a neurologist appointment this week. I’ve come to expect, through almost ten years of being chronically ill, that doctor appointments can come with their own emotions. Relief and validation when after countless appointments and tests, an answer is found. Exhaustion and disappointment when “we can’t find anything wrong with you”. Sadness when a

Some Things I Wrote This Week

It’s not uncommon for me to draw from things I and others write on social media to include in my blog or to spur some more thoughts on. So, today, I’ll share some things I’ve shared on social media over the past week.   tw/cw/cn – pet death [about Snowflake, my 14-year-old cat who was

Life As A Sick Person

One of the conversations I regularly take part in, both in online and offline interactions, is about chronic illness and disability. A recent tweet I saw sparked the thoughts for this blog post – it was a person asking how phrases like “you let the pain win too much” affect various disabled/chronically ill people, especially

Your Faith Is Valid

If at this moment you only have the capacity/time/energy to read one article, please read Kyle’s that I’ve linked below. Christians repeatedly and notoriously invalidate the faith of many minorities, including disabled people and LGBTQ+ people, but also BIPOC. I’m more aware of/educated on this being directed towards disabled people and LGBTQ+ people, but in